Talk Charge – Little things make a BIG Difference!

So far this Mort Fertel Review has touched upon general concepts on how to stop a divorce and fix your marriage problems but hasn’t given you any specific techniques to make this happen.  And that’s what this post is all about.

When you’re looking for marriage help be very careful whose advice you follow.  There’s a lot of people – including your friends and family – who’ll be the first to jump in and tell you how to fix your marriage.  Don’t listen to them! Unless they’ve gone through some type of marriage counseling don’t listen even to a single word they say.

Here’s why!

In marriage problems it seems only logical at times to stop talking to your spouse because all you do is end up fighting.  And when you talk to your friends or family about it, they all seem to say the same thing…“maybe you need some space…give it some time and it’ll be all alright.”

There’s no doubt instances where this technique works but in more cases than not, it is disastrous if your goal is to fix your marriage problems and here’s how Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness is different than all those other marriage help books.

Click Here for the Official Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness Site

He tells you to talk!  In fact, he says to do it often.  Maybe even up to 5 or 10 times a day.  You may think he’s crazy but he’s not.

Truth is…Mort Fertel knows what he’s talking about because he’s used these very techniques to stop a divorce in his own marriage.  But here’s how his suggestion is different from all the other types of marriage counseling and marriage help books out there.

Most all other programs keep advising you to talk about your problems and keep talking about them until you’ve fixed them.  As if talking about your problems and regurgitating all the things that annoy you about your spouse is really going to help.

In fact this is what normal marriage counseling with therapists is all about.  They just keep visiting the same problems over and over again trying to fix them but never get anywhere.

And that’s exactly what Mort Fertel wants to steer you away from.  He uses the term “table your issues”.  What he means by this is to NOT talk about your problems.  Instead talk about something completely unrelated to your marriage problems.

This can be very difficult to do when you’re in the throws of trying to stop your divorce but it’s extremely crucial and quite simple once you’ve practiced and prepared for it.

And here’s how you do it?

Prepare yourself for what Fertel calls “Talk Charges”.  These are simple short reasons for you to contact your spouse.  These talk charges should be as similar as possible to how you USED to communicate with your spouse when you first met.

For example…

• call your spouse to tell them some funny joke you just heard (I personally found a site online with daily jokes and found the best ones to share);

• remember the old times “hey honey…remember when xxx”;

• find something cute or funny in the newspaper or a magazine and share it;

• tell your spouse about the dream you had last night;

• share a childhood memory;

• ask your spouse how their day is going AND really listen to them;

• compliment something your spouse is wearing;

The list is endless really.  At first it seems a daunting task because you’re probably thinking “ohhh…my spouse doesn’t want to even hear from me right now.” And that could make you not do it at all.  But don’t fall for this.  That’s your pride talking to you and pride is a killer and will never help anyone stop a divorce.

Yes, it can be difficult to make that first phone call.  You may even have a spouse that’s ignoring your calls.  Don’t let that stop you.  Leave them a short message instead.  And here’s the best part;  these talk charges are designed to be short bursts of conversation to begin with.  They’re not meant to be long.  They’re simply your way of expressing to your spouse that you are thinking of “only them” in that EXACT moment of time and you wanted to share something with them.

Think back…isn’t that how it used to be when you first fell in love?

Well, that’s exactly what these talk charges are designed to bring back.  They need to become part of your daily marriage fitness routine so you can once again begin to feel like you felt when you first fell in love.  This exercise is for you just as much as it is for your spouse.  Don’t underestimate it’s power and start using it immediately. It’s these types of little things that can make a BIG difference to save your marriage.

Click Here for the Official Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness Site