My goal for this website was to write an unbiased Mort Fertel Review featuring his Marriage Fitness program because after going through his entire program, I learned some astonishing things about myself and why I was having marriage problems.
You see…I like most probably you was madly in love with my wife when we first met. We were inseparable! If I wasn’t in my college classes I was either at home hanging with my friends or with her. We constantly shared everything with each other. Were always on the phone and did everything together and were pretty much best friends. Life seemed perfect and the next logical step was to get married…have a family and live happily ever after.
BUT it didn’t quite work out like that. Truth is…we had a great relationship (so I thought at least) for a long time and things just got better and better when we decided to have children. Marriage problems were the farthest thing from our thoughts. We used to laugh at other couples we knew who had a whole library of marriage help books. Our standard comments used to be “aww…those poor guys…they’re just not in love”.
In fact friends and family used to often remark how great of a couple we were. And quite honestly I thought the same thing. However, I was unbelievably wrong! I know I can’t and I doubt my wife can really pin point it to a certain date in our marriage but slowly we were falling out of love with each other and I was clueless. On the surface, everything seemed perfect but looking back now, I realize all the devastating mistakes we made.
I was busy at work…trying to make a living for our family. My wife quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom. We stopped going out together. We stopped calling each other as much during the day. We stopped thinking of ways to do nice things for each other. We stopped going on trips with just the two of us. Everything we did involved our new addition to the family…a precious little girl we adored tremendously. We stopped doing things alone – we had no “us” time.
We didn’t quite recognize it at the time but we desperately needed marriage help. We were slowly on the track to getting divorced and drifting apart at an alarming rate with separate lives until one day my wife said the dreaded words to me “I love you but I’m not in love with you!”
I was devastated. My stomach started hurting instantly. My mental image went straight to a picture of us we had in the house where we seemed so happy and it shattered into a million pieces in front of me. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing 50% of our children’s lives because divorce seemed inevitable. It was a gut-wrenching moment in my life like I’ve never ever experienced before.
“Ouch…what just happened?”
It’s easy to see now. We just plain fell out of love and failed to Put Love First!
What exactly does putting love first mean?
It simply means our life is just like it used to be BUT now:
- We make sure we take time to speak with each other 2 or 3 times during the day. It can be for 30 seconds to 5 minutes. Just a simple phone call to say “hey honey…I miss you…how’s your day going?”
- We now go out together “ALONE” once a week for date nights. We have a scheduled babysitter who comes every saturday night.
- We now wake up every morning and say something nice to each other immediately. Something as simple as “I’m so grateful for you.”
- Every morning I think to myself “what can I do today that will show Denise I love her?”
- We now find each other buying small gifts for one another because we’re always thinking of each other and when the opportunity arises, we pick something up for one another. It could be as simple as an iced coffee from Starbucks.
- We now go on annual trips…just the two of us. We’ve been to Jamaica 4 times and Mexico once. Both small trips for about 4 days each but enough to recharge our love for each other. We’re just about to go back to Jamaica.
In reality, our daily routine hasn’t changed much but the thought of how to stop a divorce was so overpowering that I couldn’t help but transform my day to day actions to fix my marriage problems. The things mentioned in this Mort Fertel Review besides the yearly trips are so easy to employ. If you just take the time to use the tips mentioned above you will have no need for marriage counseling and it will be very easy to stop divorce if that’s where you’re headed. Even if you’re facing some extreme crisis like infidelity in marriage!